Parenting in a heatwave

So is it just me or has it been rather humid today?!

Seriously, if I want to be roasted alive I’ll go and live on Mars…

Grumpy levels in the Neat Freak household tend to rapidly rise with thermometer levels if I’m honest.

As my dad is part Indian people always tend to assume I’m a sun worshipper along with my sister. She thrives on weather hotter than living inside a microwave, and during her teen years used to oil up and lie out under the midday rays rotating herself occasionally a little like a rotisserie chicken.

Yes one of those slightly annoying types who breezes around looking cool whatever the temperature gauge says in one of her sparkly summer frocks.

Not me. I used to come out in a charming combination of prickly heat and hives. Brilliant when trying to impress teenage boys on a campsite holiday let me assure you…

Anyway, I’ll try to stop moaning, except to say that parenting in a heatwave isn’t much fun. And here’s why.

  1. The kids don’t sleep, so neither do you.
  1. Fans can only do so much. Like push hot air around an already sweltering room.
  1. Your ‘waitressing’ demands go on the rapid rise. Now you have ice cubes, ice pops, ice cream, iced drinks and copious straws to add to the never-ending list of requests.
  1. Sweat patches and stripes around the middle region (lovely!) tend to be larger when hefting around a large, lazy one-year-old.
  1. Public transport of any kind descends into total chaos. Meaning hubby is uber-cranky, and so are you. And while we’re on the subject why don’t rail tracks ‘melt’ in other countries?!
  1. There’s no chance of a rest when feeling light-headed.
  1. You are not even ‘allowed’ to watch Wimbledon. And why would you want to when you can enjoy your third Night Garden of the day?!
  1. You are constantly worried that the 13 layers of sun-cream you have coated your children in will be insufficient, they’ll burn and turn beetroot and you’ll become one of those ‘neglectful mothers’ vilified and shamed in the Daily Mail.
  1. You cannot under any circumstances get your child to wear their sunhat. And the ‘game’ of retrieving and trying to put it back on their head every 30 seconds ISN’T FUNNY ANY MORE.
  1. You haven’t got the energy to take the kids to the splash park. So you throw jugs of water over them in the garden and weep at how rubbish you are.
  1. You know you should be drinking water, after all it’s only 11am, but all you want is a gin and tonic.
  1. You hate all your summer clothes. They don’t mix with ‘mummy tummy.’
  1. You know you really must stop complaining. After all as soon as it’s freezing outside you’ll be praying for summer again…
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